You love your kids dearly but you also have desperate moments of bewilderment and stress. I persuaded a cross section of Moms to share what they feel guilty about. Not surprisingly, a lot of the answers were similar. I thought I would share these with you; not to try and find answers but just to let you know that you are not alone.
Either you have to work or you love to work or both and that is great. When the guilt gets to you, remind yourself why you are working- to put food on the table, to pay for a good education for your kids, to keep yourself stimulated and add value to your life.
. They stare at with you wild eyes and think who has swopped their Mom for this crazy woman. We have all shouted at some stage, perhaps just try and tone down the decibels a bit. Kids get to see that their parents aren’t perfect, and that is OK. Remind yourself that shouting is part and parcel of parenting.
. It’s been a long, stressful day and the last thing you feel like doing is cooking. And the kids get such a thrill at the drive through. What’s wrong with that? Just tell your kids it is a special treat and not to expect this on a regular basis.
. Come one, we all do it. Let them watch a bit of TV while you get dressed in the morning or while getting supper ready.
. Your kids probably have more than you ever dreamed about growing up. So you can’t afford those extra music lessons or that tablet that everyone else has. Kids just need our love and support.
. That is life unfortunately and just remind yourself how resilient the second and third child will be.
. They don’t need to be entertained every minute of the day. Remind yourself that you do a lot for your kids already and even that moment cuddled up on the couch watching Sponge Bob is a bonding time. So, take a deep breath and repeat after me- “My kids don’t need me to be available all of the time.” Now go hug them and get over your guilt — at least for today.
. Ever felt that you could just walk away from the crying, whining and lack of sleep and get some peace? Don’t worry; you are not the only to have ever felt that. Try and take some time and recharge. This also helps put things into perspective for you.
Go on and do it. Hubby will manage with the kids for the morning. Get some catch up with a friend, go to a movie and order a big buttery popcorn and diet drink.
Try and make YOU a priority. You are a Mom, partner or wife and friend and you deserve to feel good about yourself and be happy and fulfilled. I was asked the question- “So, how can I make the guilt go away?” You probably can’t, it is a bit like PMS, we all get it but in varying degrees.