The day starts with hope and excitement after planning what I would eat and what I would not eat. What I would eliminate from my diet completely. All the usual suspects, sugar, bad fats, refined flour, junk food, and pastries.
It is a Monday of course, that day were all the new resolutions start, new beginnings, a fresh hope.
The weekend before was filled with last minute eating and snacks because… the cupboard has to be cleared out of all the temptations of course. The crisps and cookies needed to be eaten so that they didn’t lie in the cupboard and beckon me as I was on my new found “healthy lifestyle”.
The lists are made, meal plans done and the fridge is stocked with green leafy vegetables and nut milk. I am prepared for this both mentally and physically. I HAVE to make changes to my life as I am overweight, feeling frumpy and am suffering from aches and pains that age me before my time.
The first few days I am “so good.” I stick with the routine and even do a long walk around the block and attend a yoga class.
I go to bed feeling proud that I have managed, I have resisted all the cravings that have come up and I have stuck to my plans. I wake up feeling lighter and my scales show that I have lost half a kg already. I add this onto my calendar that hangs up on the door of my cupboard. This is there to track the weeks until countdown to my goal weight. I look in the mirror, stand up straight, hold my tummy in and I am sure I can see my waist thinning slightly. My face doesn’t look as puffy, or it could just be the soft morning light! But I do feel good and know that I can nail this new routine and be the “master of my destiny.”
The week has come to an end and I have actually lost a whole kg. It is Friday and we are going to the neighbours for sundowners. I take my litre of natural flavoured water from Woolworths that is “allowed” and my own healthy seed crackers. I can do this!
The evening starts off well with chats and catch ups and people remark that I am looking well. I smile smugly and think to myself that this thing works. I am offered a glass of sparling wine because, well, sundowners and Friday of course. I know one won’t do any harm as I am not a big drinker so of course, I can handle this.
The snacks are sent around, and those small pizza slices look and smell so good. Surely one will not hurt me? I grab it before I change my mind and bite into the oozy tasty cheese and crispy pastry. Yum!
Well, a whole pizza, a big bowl of crisps and half a packet of Chuckles later we head home. I feel guilty, I feel fat and I feel bad that I have let myself down, again. My plans, my new life, all a fail.
I can start again on Monday, can’t I??
Read more of my journey:
Feeling Fat and Flabby, Can You Relate?
Why Do We Always Start Diets on a Monday?
A Weighty Issue in Relationships
Emotional Eating, It’s a Real Thing
Can you relate? What are your stories?
Hahahaha! I know the feeling girl. The thing is we don’t see the result or get into the habit of change after weeks (maybe months). Take it one day at a time.
Hi Melissa, thanks for the comment. Yes, it takes years for us to get to where we are and we expect miracles in losing the weight in a few days. We do need to take time and also not forget to be kind to ourselves.
I feel like you wrote this just for me. This is literally my life and struggle and I am so tired of it lol.
Hi Nikki, thanks for the comment and sharing this. It is great to know we are not alone in this and that the struggle is real!!