A Weighty Issue in Relationships

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I know I’m not the only woman that was super slim and trim when I met my partner, now husband. I have put weight on and off again over the 15 years that we have been together, more so in the last 6 years. My husband has never commented or remarked on this, but I know he does worry about my health and quality of life going forward- as do I.

This is a sensitive topic and might be controversial, but if you met your partner at a particular size, are you obliged to remain at the same weight or close to it?

Does it go against the commitment that you made with each other if you gain weight (or he does)?

Do you owe it to your partner to stay slim?

If the one partner stays trim and slim, is it only fair that you both do?

We are supposed to love each through sickness and health, thick and thin but was there a mention of dress size?

Are we what we weigh?

Is it even realistic to think that we can stay at the same weight? Some people manage it, are they just blessed with good metabolism?

I mean we all want to look good and of course be around for our family and kids as they grow up. Surely it is our responsibility to stay healthy and at an optimal weight?

“I think that when you are in a committed relationship, you have a responsibility to be healthy, part of the marriage contract is for two people to go through this life together and bear witness to their joint experience. But change needs to start from within—the partner’s role is to support that change.”  Constance Quinn, Treatment Centre Director

Is your relationship making you gain weight? Could it be from one the following;

» Comfort eating

» Metabolism slowing down

» Having kids

» Not enough exercise

» No time for exercise

» No motivation

» Low self-esteem

Does being single give you an incentive to stay slim because you are trying to attract a partner?

I know I want to be around for myself and for my family for a long time still and also be super healthy without too many ailment. So, yes, I do think we need to do what we can to maintain our weight and manage our health by any means that we can. 

What do you think? I know I am asking a lot of questions, without many answers but let’s use our collective intelligence here and try and make sense of this all. Thanks.

For more articles on weight loss and emotions read these;

Feeling Fat and Flabby. Can you Relate?

Dr. John Demartini on Understanding Women and Weight Issues

Why Do We Always Start Diets on a Monday?

Dr John Demartini- How to Lose Weight Wisely


  • Joanna Clute


    I honestly think that whatever size you met your partner at literally doesn’t matter. However, health wise, whether I was overweight or not when I met them, I would strive to be healthy and that’s my main focus, not being the perfect figure, etc.

  • Yolandi


    Hi Sharon. Thanx for the post. I am having such a tough time with my weight. Went through a really terrible couple of years & have subsequently gained so much weight. We’re approaching our 10th wedding anniversary & I am sad for myself & my husband that I am not as skinny as I used to be. But I’m tackling every day & trying to get into my good old habits again.

  • Wenchy


    Having an auto immune illness HEALTH means everything to me. Weight not so much.

  • Larissa


    This was very informative – thank you!

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